Hippie Classification Guide

The historical role of a ‘hippie’ is very separate from modern cultural associations with the word (e.g. “Rachel, put the guitar away, you’re such a hippie” “I shop at Whole Foods, Trader Joes, and New Seasons. I’m, like, such a hippie” “smart cars are for hippies.”) In these examples, I am referring to Class 3 hippies. I have decided to make these distinctions because it would be a tremendous loss if we were no longer able to use the term hippie, except in attempts to appear humorous. You know what I mean; jokingly calling friends or out-of-earshot strangers ‘hippies.’ Honestly, the word hippie is just fun to say and hear. I propose that, as we live in a world so in love with concrete definitions, we not let this tender gem be left to the corrosion brought on by the neglect of youthful or careless English speakers.

Class 1: Literal Hippies. They participated in the free love movement of the 1960s, protested the Vietnam War, and attended Woodstock. They hung out in the “Haight Ashbury” district in San Francisco. They cried, “flower power!” “make love, not war!” and “hell no, we won’t go!”

 

 

 

Class 2: Modern Hippies. These days, they’re the people you’ll find living in tiny houses, growing their own gardens, farming chickens and bees in urban areas, making arts and crafts from recycled materials, and seeing America from a car. Examples: Chris McCandless, the people featured in the documentary, “Tiny,” an Environmental Science professor at a community college, and your crazy uncle living in Moab.

Class 3: Non Hippies. There are two sub categories of this class. 

First tier Class 3: people who are above the American standard as far as sustainable living and open mindedness, but are not devoted hippies. For example, they recycle, enjoy independent films and the outdoors (while wearing Columbia jackets, obvi), and donate to public radio. They probably voted for Obama (at least the first time) and they may or may not belong to a union.  These folks typically possess a rich and varied music taste. 

Sidenote: These may be people who were Modern Hippies in their younger days, but have since settled down.

Second tier Class 3: Primarily females between the ages of 12 and 22. They shop at Forever 21 and Goodwill, have a boho inspiration board on Pinterest, throw up peace signs like pre-insanity Miley Cyrus, enjoy the song “home” by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes (but only home. The other ones are, like, totally effed up. Well, I guess 40 day dream is kind of cool), and Instagram filtered photos of daisies and their ‘makeup-free’ (but not really) faces. They typically have very long hair, or are in the process of growing it out. Really, they are only self-described hippies.

 

 

"omg, we are such hippies!"

Other leagues to consider:

Pre Hippies: The Kerouacs and Beatniks preceding the hippie movement.  

Pioneer Hippies: Henry David Thoreau, John Muir, Gifford Pichot. These gents predated the Pre Hippies, and were more concerned with sweet Mother Nature than social reforms.

In conclusion, it’s rather difficult to classify human beings, especially when using only your own observations and opinions. This is simply the guide I use to discern between types of hippies. But really, should we be discerning at all? Shouldn’t we just be looking at individuals for their character, beliefs, and desires? Let’s all decide to love one another. We’re all brothers and sisters, and even though we secretly want to shove tofu into the face of the Second tier Class 3s, we need to remember to love them.

Peace out, my precious blueberries. 

and here's one more.

he makes me self conscious about my femininity.

sinceehly, 

flowah child.

ROMCOMS = PORN FO' LADYZ

[This blog post was written in late May/early June of 2014. But I eventually posted it, BY GOLLY]

Hey guys. yeah, I haven't posted since november. sorry for being a douche. Anyways, this post is probably going to be a verbal diarrhea sort of thing, as any post that takes me more than one sitting never gets posted. wait. scratch that. this isn't verbal. should I call it finger diarrhea? nope, that's worse. typing diarrhea? okay. here we go:

So, you probably heard about that movie Don Jon that came out some months ago (actually, like, 9 months ago). I didn't watch it, but basically the premise is that a young man who is obsessed with his image and addicted to pornography begins dating a beautiful woman. the woman finds out about his addiction and is freaked out. At some point, the young fellow uses the argument that the romantic comedies that hordes of women voraciously devour are no better than pornography. Again, I didn't watch this movie; all of the information I have is what I got from the trailer, reading the synopsis, and listening to an interview with Joseph Gordon-Levitt on NPR (I'll provide the link at the end of the post).

This idea gave me something to think about. it's not necessarily an original idea, as most people know on some level that romantic comedies are hogwash. similarly, I'd hope that people who watch pornography know that it's really not a realistic depiction of a healthy sexual relationship (you should know, I've never actually watched pornography... but I've heard some advertisements referred to as "softcore porn" (e.g. Carls Jr., Victoria's Secret) and if that's soft, then I can only assume pornography is much further from reality. besides that, pornography is often referred to as someone's fantasy. the very definition of the word fantasy is... well... "imagination"

So, anyways. You may be wondering what brought on this need for me to write a blog post (if you've even gotten this far without getting a snack or checking facebook. I haven't, but then, I'm writing it, so...). Well, friends, yesterday, I watched a movie called P.S. I Love You. It was released in 2007, and it stars Hilary Swank and Gerard Butler. I don't remember what urged me to watch it. When we were like, 14, my friend and I were going to watch it, but I had to go home before we got around to it. She watched it after I left her house and said it was good, but I never watched it myself. By the wonders of the internet, I can now watch movies without paying for or borrowing them *insert a couple of "Hail Marys" and pleas for forgiveness from movie production companies*

So, I watched it. You should know, I'm not typically a romantic comedy kind of person, except for Audrey Hepburn movies. Actually, I'm not really a movie person... I like movies, but I don't have a ton of patience, and usually can't watch them in one sitting, unless I'm in a movie theater, or with people who won't pause the movie for me. Okay, back on track: I watched it, but without checking the IMDb rating, or reading the synopsis. I had no idea what would happen. SPOILER: THE HUSBAND DIES. which is basically the starting point of the story. The husband, Gerry, dies of a brain tumor and leaves his dear, sweet wife, Holly, 10 letters to get her through the next year. It's a really beautiful story, complete with the romcom staples: light, airy soundtrack, snarky best friends, handsome love interests, and the pursuit of irrational dreams. The real depth of the movie is, I think, in the first half hour or so, before Holly receives Gerry's first message. the first scene of the film is of them fighting and then making up (side note: they had incredible chemistry). Then, it transitions into the next scene via opening credits. Now, we're at his funeral, which I was not expecting. In the next few bits, it shows her losing her mind. This really hit me. I've never been in love, and despite watching this fictional woman's suffering, I was jealous of her. I envied the fact that she'd loved someone so dearly that being without him caused her life to lose meaning. Throughout the movie, there are flashbacks of their life together and how they met, and it's absolutely agonizing. BTW I'm a wimp. 

So, kids, here's the problem. I watched the movie fairly early in the day, and for the rest of that day, I was depressed and unsatisfied. Right now, I'm in sort of a relationship thing. Whatever. Anyways, it's long distance and young and fresh and new and it's my first exclusive dating deal. woo. hoo. So, interestingly, the night before watching this movie, my man (We'll call him Llewyn) and I had a conversation about where our relationship was at. by the end, I was feeling pretty good. The future was looking merry and I was more confident in Llewyn's feelings for me. And then I watched that muthuh flippin' movie. All of a sudden I'm comparing Llewyn to Gerard Butler. I'm thinking things like "if I marry Llewyn, that means I'll never marry a guy with an Irish accent." and "Llewyn isn't as burly as Gerard Butler." In addition, I started comparing myself to Hilary Swank. 

But let's be honest:

perfect butt

she's pretty fit & stuff

Also, she got to wear this dress. Do you see that detailing? 

Romantic comedies are notorious for their unrealistic ladies. In her book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? and Other Concerns, Mindy Kaling takes some time to address the different types of ladies found in romantic comedies. She opens this particular essay by saying she considers romantic comedies as a "subgenre of sci-fi" and is therefore able to watch them with glee. She explains that it's important to understand that romcoms take place in a world so detached from reality, that to consider them feasible puts you on the fast track to disappointment. Okay, here are the ladies that Kaling presented: 

1. The Klutz
2. The Ethereal Weirdo
3. The Woman Who is Obsessed With Her Career and is No Fun At All
4. The Forty-Two-Year-Old Mother of the Thirty-Year-Old Male Lead
5. The Sassy Best Friend
6. The Skinny Woman Who is Beautiful and Toned But Also Gluttonous and Disgusting
7. The Woman Who Works in an Art Gallery

1, 2, 3, and 6 all apply to Holly at some point in PSILY. During the flashback where 19-year-old Holly meets Gerry, we find out that she was an art student. She wears whimsical colors and awkwardly kisses Gerry (which he then fixes by non-awkwardly kissing her) and keeps his leather jacket which he let her borrow, saying that they might see one another again. I don't know, it seemed weird to me. Holly is the Klutz the night they go out to karaoke. She is the woman obsessed with work when she begins the shoe design thing (and arguably too in the opening scene, when she talks about not being able to have kids until they have a bigger apartment and more money). And in the weeks following Gerry's death, we see panoramic montages of her apartment, with pizza boxes and coffee cups scattered around. Also, number 5, the sassy best friend, is very present as well. 

Like, can we talk about this Sassy Best Friend for a second? 

  

Sylvie and Regina in Charade

The Sassy Best Friend is everywhere. Here we have Charade, released in 1963. The entire film is pristine from beginning to end. Here's the little gem of an exchange that starts the movie off: 

Reggie Sylvie -- I'm getting a divorce. 

Sylvie: a alors! From Charles? 

Reggie: He's the only husband I've got. I tried to make it work, I really have -- but -- 

Sylvie: But what? 

Reggie: I don't know how to explain it. I'm just too miserable. 

Sylvie: It is infuriating that your unhappiness does not turn to fat! 

[...]

 Sylvie: I don't understand. Why do you want a divorce? Reggie: Because I don't love him and he doesn't love me.

Sylvie: That's no reason to get a divorce! With a rich husband and this year's clothes you will not find it difficult to make some new friends.

See? Well, now I'm on a tangent, so here are some more notable SBFs:

Katherine Heigl and Judy Greer in 27 Dresses

Cheryl Hines, Keri Russell, and Adrienne Shelley in Waitress

Emma Caulfield and [ I could not find the other actress's name] in TiMER

Lake Bell in What Happens in Vegas

Okay. Those were some seriously random and obscure SBF references. Onward:

In addition to unrealistic women, romantic comedies also showcase unrealistic men, and unrealistic situations in general. I'd like to maybe continue this in another blog post, as right now, I am tuckered out. I know, I'm a wimp. Most people are able to take care of this in one go, or have the ability to come back to a post within a reasonable amount of time. I just hope I can revise it after I've posted... 

Sorry for how unorganized this post was. I truly struggle sometimes.

adios, octopi. 

Le Flower Child

Links:

IMDb

Don Jon: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2229499/?ref_=nv_sr_1

P.S I love you: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0431308/?ref_=rvi_tt

Charade: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0056923/?ref_=rvi_tt

27 Dresses: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0988595/?ref_=rvi_tt

Waitress: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0473308/?ref_=rvi_tt

TiMER: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1179794/?ref_=rvi_tt

NPR story: http://www.npr.org/2013/09/29/226858221/joseph-gordon-levitt-on-life-and-the-lenses-we-look-through

labels out

I don't know what "labels out" means. I just have "Can't Hold Us" stuck in my head.

When I made this blog, I fully intended to keep it up and routinely give you fine folks a picture of my life as it unfolded. If you'll kindly look to the right, you'll see a notable gap between my first post and this. As you can deduce, I am not a woman of my word (at least when the only people to hold me to it are nonexistent). I don't think anyone reads this blog. But maybe it will blow up one day.

Now, would y'all like some updates? Update number one: I've started to use the word "y'all." mostly just in my head though. Darn confederates, coming up north to spoil our language. It's not just them, though. I've started yelling in a Bert voice at random (and inappropriate) times, because that's what a friend of mine does. I've always been influenced by the people I'm surrounded by... I guess that's a silly thing to say, because we all are. But, I've noticed urges to change myself, sometimes based off a desire to be good enough for someone, or to be like them. Other times, I'm reaching for this ideal that I have always had of how I should be, and that I now have the freedom to pursue.

I know this is a short post, and I should really take more time to sit and chat. However, homework is calling, and I have a meeting at 7:15.

loves and kisses, my nonexistent darlings!

That Awkward First Post

Salutations. 

I haven't got much to say, now that the moment has arrived. I like babies. I saw the notebook for the first time when I was 17 (a year ago...) and I wasn't enthralled. poop. I've never been kissed. I love nature and being outdoors more than a great many other things. I know an unhealthy amount of information about Audrey Hepburn. I hate authority sometimes. I have a hard time with music, in that when I love it, I LOVE it. the trouble is that I have difficulties finding music to love. I wish I were thinner. I love my family sometimes. I love to run non-competitively, but I will run competitively if necessary. I watch too much TV/Spend too much time on the internet, and I would like to change that about myself, especially since it doesn't make me happy.

I suppose that is all for now.
Thank you for your time.

flower child.