Hippie Classification Guide

The historical role of a ‘hippie’ is very separate from modern cultural associations with the word (e.g. “Rachel, put the guitar away, you’re such a hippie” “I shop at Whole Foods, Trader Joes, and New Seasons. I’m, like, such a hippie” “smart cars are for hippies.”) In these examples, I am referring to Class 3 hippies. I have decided to make these distinctions because it would be a tremendous loss if we were no longer able to use the term hippie, except in attempts to appear humorous. You know what I mean; jokingly calling friends or out-of-earshot strangers ‘hippies.’ Honestly, the word hippie is just fun to say and hear. I propose that, as we live in a world so in love with concrete definitions, we not let this tender gem be left to the corrosion brought on by the neglect of youthful or careless English speakers.

Class 1: Literal Hippies. They participated in the free love movement of the 1960s, protested the Vietnam War, and attended Woodstock. They hung out in the “Haight Ashbury” district in San Francisco. They cried, “flower power!” “make love, not war!” and “hell no, we won’t go!”

 

 

 

Class 2: Modern Hippies. These days, they’re the people you’ll find living in tiny houses, growing their own gardens, farming chickens and bees in urban areas, making arts and crafts from recycled materials, and seeing America from a car. Examples: Chris McCandless, the people featured in the documentary, “Tiny,” an Environmental Science professor at a community college, and your crazy uncle living in Moab.

Class 3: Non Hippies. There are two sub categories of this class. 

First tier Class 3: people who are above the American standard as far as sustainable living and open mindedness, but are not devoted hippies. For example, they recycle, enjoy independent films and the outdoors (while wearing Columbia jackets, obvi), and donate to public radio. They probably voted for Obama (at least the first time) and they may or may not belong to a union.  These folks typically possess a rich and varied music taste. 

Sidenote: These may be people who were Modern Hippies in their younger days, but have since settled down.

Second tier Class 3: Primarily females between the ages of 12 and 22. They shop at Forever 21 and Goodwill, have a boho inspiration board on Pinterest, throw up peace signs like pre-insanity Miley Cyrus, enjoy the song “home” by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes (but only home. The other ones are, like, totally effed up. Well, I guess 40 day dream is kind of cool), and Instagram filtered photos of daisies and their ‘makeup-free’ (but not really) faces. They typically have very long hair, or are in the process of growing it out. Really, they are only self-described hippies.

 

 

"omg, we are such hippies!"

Other leagues to consider:

Pre Hippies: The Kerouacs and Beatniks preceding the hippie movement.  

Pioneer Hippies: Henry David Thoreau, John Muir, Gifford Pichot. These gents predated the Pre Hippies, and were more concerned with sweet Mother Nature than social reforms.

In conclusion, it’s rather difficult to classify human beings, especially when using only your own observations and opinions. This is simply the guide I use to discern between types of hippies. But really, should we be discerning at all? Shouldn’t we just be looking at individuals for their character, beliefs, and desires? Let’s all decide to love one another. We’re all brothers and sisters, and even though we secretly want to shove tofu into the face of the Second tier Class 3s, we need to remember to love them.

Peace out, my precious blueberries. 

and here's one more.

he makes me self conscious about my femininity.

sinceehly, 

flowah child.